Episode Eight: How Can We Hold Onto Ourselves In Relationships?

We begin this session by fine-tuning the name of our podcast. Start HERE becomes Start Right HERE. We want our listeners to be able to apply what we are discussing to their day-to-day lives. Even the best ideas or the most creative concepts change nothing until they are translated to practice. To “start right here” delivers us to that point of practice, delivers us to “what is next,” specifically, “what do I need to do next?” Starting right here implies movement. It is not STAY right here, after all. Being here, attending to what can be next brings us to choice. Making choices is how we move from here to next, which of course takes us to the next “next.” It is movement, the opposite of being stuck. Developing a practice of moving from one choice to the next choice, remaining focused in the moment leaning toward the next moment, is one very specific way we hold on to our authentic selves. It is a way to remain focused on what we are in charge of, and occupies attention/energy that might otherwise lean too far forward, listening to inner messages of fear or self-criticism. We offer examples of maintaining this focus in relationship communication, emphasizing that without freedom to say no (to reject something presented), we cannot respond with a genuine yes. When each person in a relationship does the work of holding onto their authentic self, the relationship too is authentic. Much more to come about identifying and holding onto our authentic selves. Next week: the dangers of believing that perfection is even an option: How can I avoid the curse of perfectionism?